Help! Aboard the USS Republican. We’re floundering in stormy seas – Captain Trump seems to have gone senile, crazy or both. We found a stowaway family below deck and he wants to throw them overboard. Captain has ordered all crew members to cease regular maintenance activities and ship is falling apart and starting to take on water
Captain obsessed about sharks and sea monsters but ignores navigator’s warning about icebergs. Captain constantly changing his orders and vindictive to crew members who are still trying to keep our ship afloat. No hope of mutiny – half the crew believes everything he says, no matter how crazy, and can’t see the danger we’re in!
I’m throwing this bottle overboard, hoping someone might someday find it. Of course, maybe our ship will somehow get itself together and we will have already made it safely back to port years ago, in which case this message will be just a brief note in history.